It was a typical Tuesday morning. Wake up, drink my coffee, go time. After dropping the kids off at school I headed straight to work, and started working on my clients for the morning. They all live for Amelia stories, being she’s my youngest and wildest of the three, but the week prior was pretty quiet. I’m not going to lie, they seemed disappointed, good news, Amelia must have felt their disappointment so she delivered. I got a message on class dojo, an app schools use to keep the line of communication open with parents.
“Good morning Mrs. Pitt, Amelia is in the principals office. She was giving a child the middle finger in class. Just wanted to keep you informed.”
I will take responsibility for about anything that comes out of my kids mouth, but we don’t really use the finger, ever really. Perplexed, that is verbatim my response to her. I thanked her for telling me and asked what she wanted me to do. I wasn’t sure if I needed to come get her or what. Ive never had a kindergartener flipping the bird before so this was new territory. Nope, just wanted to tell me. My clients got a huge kick out of it and both requested an update after I picked her up from school. They’re invested.
Several hours later I picked her up. I had practiced my speech all the way there. She may be five, but she’s smarter than most and has a way of logically talking her way out of things. She hopped in, poof, that speech I had been practicing vanished.
“Bruh, what hell were you thinking flipping kids off in class?”
Not exactly my smoothest entry. Though it was blunt and to the point, and had just enough profanity to emphasize the severity. However I was not anticipating her response.
“First off mom, it was only one kid, Maddie, you know the mean girl.” She explained on, “second, she’s such a rude girl, she pretended to be my friend, and she said that the middle finger was a sign rich girls did to each other. Like a peace sign, but only one finger.”
Im over there like, but you’re not one? You’re not a rich girl at all ??
As it turns out, Maddie, the rude girl, told Amelia about the “rich girl” sign and after they both exchanged a few middle fingers at each other, she ran off and told on her. And don’t you know that little heffer stole Amelia’s snack while she was in the principal’s office. The teacher was sure it was an accident. Look Linda, pretty sure it wasn’t. This is not the first time Amelia has been set up by that little shit. I was over it. I told Amelia when she goes back to school the next day, look at Maddie and quietly inform her that snitches get stitches, but it has to be quietly so that teach doesn’t hear her.
Amelia is so smart, and such a great manipulator, I was personally shocked she fell for it. May be if I’d been using the middle finger all along, she wouldn’t have? Parenting rule 1,237. Use the middle finger frequently so little girls named Maddie can’t pull a fast one. Just kidding! In today’s culture, if I really condoned that, I’d be cancelled quicker than Mr. Potato Head.
My husband could not get past the snack theft. He asked me if he should call the school and tell them he’s pressing charges for theft. Hahaha. No dear, have a seat, I’ll continue to handle all school contact. Though I have had fun Flipping him off claiming it’s just my Rich Girl sign.