Riding in Cars with Raelynn

Rae and I had run a few errands and decided to bring some Chinese food home for dinner. As we started down the narrowish and dark highway home, she gasps, nearly causing me to run off the road. “Oh my gosh mom, did you see that sign? It has a bad word on it. Don’t they know families drive on this road all the time?” Confused, because I hadn’t seen anything gasp worthy, I asked what it said. “You know, dick.” Y’all, when I say I froze, I mean literally wasn’t really driving for a split second. “How the heck do you know that word? Do you even know what it means?” “Nope, Colby said it,” she says. Turns out there is a Dick Allen automotive sign off the highway. I explained it was short for Richard, and being met with odd looks, I said, “yeah, got nothing…decades of people have been wondering the same thing. It’s also another name for a boys weener.” She kind of giggled. Proudly she announced, “I know another word….slit.” I laughed so hard, “you mean slut?” “Oh yeah ha that one…slut.” She didn’t know what that was either. I said it was a dirty girl that kisses all the boys. “Like she smells bad and kisses boys?” She asked. I’m dying here. I said, “yeah she probably smells, but I mean like if I went out kissing boys even though I’m married to dad.” “Ooh gross.” She said. I blew her mind next. “Hey Rae another name for a slit is a hoe.” I kid you not, this kid goes, “ohhh I have always wondered what that was!” I just shook my head, like sure, you’re entire eight years of life you have been pondering what a hoe is. But dirty girls/guys will forever be slits to me, you can’t change my mind.

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